If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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