Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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