if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize