thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
