I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
