considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
