So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
