I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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