I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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