You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
