I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Terrible idea I love it
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
