i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize
