i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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