You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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