called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I just want to make out with him forever
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
You did what with his pubic hair?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
