I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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