is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Randomize
