i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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