No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
