If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
