absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
