I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
