is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
are you so shy because you have an std?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
