Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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