Pappa wants mamma naked
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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