Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
