Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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