I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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