who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
