i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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