I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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