Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
