we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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