You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
