i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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