May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
