Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
