i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
