i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
