He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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