so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I think weed is turning my hair brown
You are the jesus of drinking
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize