:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Randomize
