so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
