wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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