dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
