I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Of course I have a pirate flag
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
