You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
