Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
