she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
