Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
