i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
