I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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