it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
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