you would pick up someone in the library
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
