This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize