Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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