Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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