Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
