Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Randomize
