what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
