Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
